Sunday, December 5, 2010

Bearing one another's burdens

Book of Mormon Mosiah 18:8-9
8And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are adesirous to come into the bfold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

 9Yea, and are awilling to mourn with those that bmourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand ascwitnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the dfirst resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

I have had two very clear examples of this very scripture happen in my life lately and I wanted to stop and write down my thoughts about it, as it has been on my mind a lot lately.  

I was having a really hard time a few months ago.  Without going into details we have had some really tough issues in our family for a couple of years now.  I have at times felt like the little engine that could and I have just kept chugging up the hill, knowing that I could do it, that it would get easier, if I could just make it over the next rise.  When I would get down I knew that all I had to do was just climb into my bed at night and when I woke up in the morning things would look different, it would be better, I would be happy again.  Most of the time this works for me......I have always said that is the one great thing about me,  I ALWAYS wake up happy!  Unfortunately there came a day when it just didn't work any more.  Things looked really bad no matter how I looked at them.  I knew that I needed someone to talk to but it just so happened that my trusted therapist and long time friend had died earlier this year and so that was not an option.  I couldn't talk to my husband or my kids and I couldn't even talk to my sister, my best friend in the world.  Things looked really dismal and hopeless.  

I do a lot of  yoga and meditation and even that did not bring me the relief that I needed.  I would feel great after a session of it but then when I would have to go back to the real world it almost made it harder.  I could see no relief, no comfort, no help in sight.  I went to the Temple and did a lot of praying during this time and though some of these things would help for a time, I knew that I needed something....but I didn't know what.

I had been in touch with a good friend Sally who I met from yoga.   Our friendship had deepened through many wonderful shared experiences taking yoga seminars together and practicing yoga at the same studio.  We had both certified as teachers together and then in the following years had each began teaching in our homes and so we no longer saw each other on a regular basis.   Well, it just so happened that we ended up going to lunch together this weekend that I was having such a hard time emotionally.  

When I came in to the Cafe to meet her I was already crying.  Oh my goodness I was a wreck!  I just could not hold it together, not even for a minute.  We ordered lunch and sat down to talk and in the next few hours my sad story poured out of me like water.  It just so happened that she had experienced everything that I was in the middle of going through.  Everything!  She was the perfect one for me to talk to because she had been through it.....was still going through some of it.  She offered me a unique point of view and shared with me the upside and the downside of all that I was experiencing.  She gave me a perspective that I just couldn't find on my own.  We probably spent about three hours together and by the time I got up to leave I felt so much better.  However, it wasn't until I got home that I had a big AHA moment.  I no longer felt burdened.  I literally felt lighter.   I immediately thought of this scripture in Mosiah 18:8-9 and I knew that she had truly borne my burdens and because of it I felt good again.  Not that anything in my life had changed, it was all still there but I was able to bear it more easily because of my friend.  Thank you Sally, I love you so much.

Another more simple example happened today.  It was Sunday and I had been at church most of the morning.  When I got home the house just looked like a wreck to me, kitchen a mess, stuff everywhere......the usual.  I decided to try and print my labels for christmas cards and as usual the technology had me wrapped up in stitches and I spent hours on something that should have taken 15 minutes.  Then just as I got the mail merge to work the printer gave out and said it needed a new drum......sigh.   So with half the envelopes printed I switched to another task and called my Activity Day partner to try and organize our December activity.  While talking to her I confessed to my complete feeling of overwhelm today.  With Christmas looming and the house a wreck and it just seemed nothing was going my way.  She commiserated with me and confessed to her own times of overwhelm, and then something magical began to happen.  As I talked to her I started to clean my kitchen and before I knew it I had loaded the dishwasher and swept the floor and I even organized my pantry all without even noticing.  I was so engaged in the conversation that I didn't even think about what I was doing and it just happened.  By the time we hung up I was totally rejuvenated and my burden had been lifted once again.  

I am so grateful for good friends who are willing to "bear one another's burdens".  I hope I can be that kind of a friend.  Namaste.


Teri said...

My dear friend. When you need to chuck an emotion, send it over the pond to me. I will carry it for you, without question. I miss you. I wish I were there to share and help. T

Yours Truly said...

Lol! I find myself getting my overwhelming cleaning done when I talk to Charity on the phone.
It's nice to have friends :D

Karen said...

Thanks so much Teri, I really miss you too! Rose, there is nothing like a sister to talk to, I'm so blessed to have seven.

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